You Tour Like a Girl

2012-01-27T19:31:00.001-07:00

At 6:50 pm... I felt like I was in the movie Jaws when they said, We are gonna need a bigger boat."

More chairs needed room packed.. Show a raging success!

I am happy.

2012-01-27T08:32:00.001-07:00

Oops... Ate all the kale chips. Had to make more! Scrambling, baking, blending, chopping and then some for tonight. And for my company! There is a bizarre soundtrack of Barry White, Jonsi, Florence and the Machine, and Sergio Mendez and Brazil... Crazy delicious!

Motivating!

Great start to a great day. And with any luck a successful night for my musician friends to have a good show.

I can't believe I ate all the other kale chips... Doh!

2012-01-26T18:41:00.001-07:00

Setting the room for the gig!

2012-01-26T15:01:00.001-07:00

Oh Hells Yes!

2012-01-26T13:27:00.001-07:00

Out grabbing extra gear for the show tomorrow... It is a lovely day!

2012-01-25T11:39:00.001-07:00

Lamp yes? Lamp no? Operators are waiting for your call!

2012-01-24T17:45:00.001-07:00

Stain applied, ladder blends perfectly with boards on the wall.

Happy times!

Of course now I am a bit loopy from the fumes... But that is done and now on to attaching the oar/handrail. A good portion of the day went to trying to sell some personal items in my storage unit. Success was mine, and as soon as they are picked up I can take a little breath of relief. A bit of cash for the utilities etc., and a bit for living my uber simple lifestyle. In other words, money to buy coffee beans and soy milk...

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2012-01-23T09:37:00.001-07:00

Oh... And I think I am going into the water conservation business. I need something while I have down time between the wee bit of touring I get to do... My time spent in Tucson last week was a good one to see what my pals are doing with water conservation.

I'm moving forward with it.

What's missing?

2012-01-23T09:17:00.002-07:00

In transition... Stay tuned. I cannot seen to find my barnboard stain. The big ladder is begging for it. And though I have found some nifty blue paint for my proposed handrail... it's not the stain needed for the bulk of the project. Dammit! Oh well, I am gonna toodle down to the post office to grab the mail and hope that I can remember where the stain is...

And at the end of this day, I'm pleased.

2012-01-22T20:19:00.002-07:00

Some big pieces of furniture left the wee beach house today. The space created is wonderful, and needed. I made a couple bucks off the deal but that was not the reason to get rid of the things at all. I really just needed to create the space.

Tomorrow I will stain the stairs to KK's Disco Slumber Lounge and attach a handrail of sorts. Hopefully all that before noon. I'm lit up with forward motion as I ponder the next steps. The big show is at Roka on Friday and I need to get that space ready as well as my own. And I promised Natalia kale chips too... Lots to do.

2012-01-22T08:15:00.002-07:00

Morning with Julia and the Quick Bunny...

2012-01-21T17:14:00.001-07:00

My venture to Mexico with Sally today gave us this beauty of a sun getting ready to set.

I didn't do so good on this one...

2012-01-21T13:27:00.002-07:00

Me and The Mother Unit today before I blew town... We had some fun I did some chores for her and then.. I was gone.

Rubber meet road.

2012-01-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

I will know today if this time up in Tucson will really gel as something I can throw my energy into. So far, while this exploration has been something so different than anything I ever imagined myself doing... I can see the possibility.

Today is down and dirty day.

Hands on, and seriously dirty.

Stay tuned. A weird chapter of my life could begin before our very eyes.

Warm day.. Warm heart.

2012-01-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Still in Tucson. Another day and a half up here. My delving into this possible jobby thing is really starting to seem like a good idea. Yes... I need to make some money. And there could be potential for me to make a difference and a bit of needed cash.

I have learned a bunch over the years about who I am in a work situation. But the constant is that I like to help people. I can be a great self starter when I get my head wrapped around something. As I wait for the next tour I can be working on this other gig perhaps and not only keeping myself busy, but out there making a difference. My cautious optimism is opening up to reality andna good dose of possibility. More to be revealed over the next 36 hrs. As I get to do some hands on and see/feel how this works and if it fits.

Damn near 70 up here!

2012-01-18T08:45:00.002-07:00

If nothing else, Tucson is kinda nice in the winter. I conveniently forgot all about that when I decamped to Bisbee and it's quite chilly temps.

Another day up here for this investigating of some stuff.. Just kinda poking around at some potential money making up here.

Easy going times and getting to do a bit of cookin' for The Mother Unit. That always makes me happy.. Wish I could do that for her all the time. I get sad when she tells me she is eatin frozen dinners because she doesn't wanna cook. I do try and bring food up when I get up here.

Simple and quiet..

2012-01-18T08:45:00.001-07:00

One of the greatest love affairs I have ever seen.. My mom and her chihoo.

put it down and walk away...

2012-01-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

In my disappointment of last night's video disappearance I rebooted the contraption and the meat of the project was there... without all the intricate changes I had just spent hours doing. So as I get ready to trek to The Baked Pueblo, I will leave it be till I get back. Fresh eyes... fresh mind to see it without being too close to it.

Anais Mitchell is once again gracing this house with the more than delicious sounds of her latest offering "Young Man in America" and it could be on a loop for another few days after this... it is that good! Every single person who has entered the house has asked who was playing in the background. And the answer has been Anais each time!

Some thwarted expectations... leading to some let downs has me wanting to make sure I get to an AA mtg to hear some experience strength and hope in the next couple days. Routine maintenance ya know. Will be good to lay eyes on The Mother Unit... haven't seen her in what seems like forever. I haven't seen her in this year we call 2012 in fact! Wow! I am a bad daughter! Damn me!

Like a dagger!

2012-01-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

You know how you hear those stories?

You know... then ones where someone spent an assload of time working on something on a computer... and they go to save it and.. well... the program quits unexpectedly and they have all of their work disappear into thin air?

Yes... of course it happened to me. Why the hell else would I give that shitty build-up?

Approximately 9 hours of video editing/re-tooling has vanished. I am... well.... I am pissed! And kinda sad. And disappointed. And now it's time to let it all go. I guess I'll just make a snack, and watch some funny movie to take my mind offa that. Musta been meant to be a different vid than the one I spent the day crafting.

Ok then...

videoooooooooooooo

2012-01-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

coffee.
video.
snack.
video.
a little heat in here.
video.
a little more heat.
and some more video.

It's cloudy-ish rainy at times and gernerally windy and moist. My inclination is to stay inside and figure out this video... see what hits hard and to the point. And waiting for the local mechanic to swing by and take a peek under the lil' acura to make sure I am good to fill her up with some oil and drive. I have an appt. in Tucson so something's gotta give.

All of my pals are dispersing from Bisbee over the next few days as Cafe Roka is now on vacation. That is why Sally and I get to use the restaurant for a music thingy.. of course, Sally is gone right now too.

I have been gone plenty, ready to do something good, and looks like it's up to me to create that at this moment. Ok then.

I will create a delicious cup of coffee with my bialetti, and I will create video flow.

the big question is...

2012-01-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

How do you really edit out so much video footage and manage to tell a story of why a cello player and his kickass band went to Jamaica to help people raise money for beds in orphanages over there? A filmaker/editor I am not. At least not to any even tiny degree. Maybe a microscopic degree...

Going through hours of footage to piece together this video. Now is as good a time as any to finally get started. Sadly, I do not think I am going off with Dave and the boys in a few weeks, so I needed to put my head in something time consuming. I want this video to show the goodness... and I truly want to tell a story with this. So... with my head buried in the video edits, I am looking for the great shots, and the must keeps.

But 25 minutes of footage is too much and I need about a third of that.

Put on your thinking cap, Girlene. Focus!

Hello Sunday.

2012-01-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Kinda cloudy.. kinda cooler.. must be time to walk to the post office and dump off some mail that needs to go out. What better way to try to motivate after lots of coffee, a tasty breakfast and 2 hours of music ?

That oughta do it.. and then see what the day brings.

I have a feeling I am chancing it on a drive to Tucson with my sweet little acura to get her up to my mechanic. Rural living has a few challenges to be sure. But I want him to be the one to diagnose it... it'll be quicker, and probably cheaper than the local guy down here.

There are a few more posters to go up in Bisbee today and I gots to get out there and talk this Natalia Zukerman Garrison Starr show up. It's not to be missed!

semi-streaming video for me.

2012-01-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

I started off my morning with some Pretenders. A long time favorite of mine in fact one of my tops. I was devastated all those years ago when Pete Farndon and James Honeyman Scott died... Chrissie Hynde is a goddess.

Watch Enmore Theatre and other great gigs on Moshcam.

I really loved the new album. I bought it immediately. Still a big fan. And she hasn't lost it. Nor has Martin Chambers on drums.. I am slightly distracted by how the bass player is a bit of a doppelganger for Pete Farndon. At least from a distance. All these years later there is still a sadness for those guys overdosing.. damn drugs.

My experience of steaming is one of a painful desire to attempt to watch something that stops and starts so much you almost forget you are watching. But the desire to watch outweighs the quality of the hideously bad stolen internet connection I am grateful for every day.

It's freaking cold out there.. 24 this morning. Happy to report a toasty 52 inside. This day is all about getting a few episodes of Six Feet Under watched and then I have no idea. Yesterday's flurry of calls and emails went unanswered so this holiday weekend is wide open.

Enjoy The Pretenders if you choose to watch the video. It's a full concert from Sydney Australia from 2010. I know I did. It just took me a helluva lot longer to view than it will anyone else. But it was worth it to me.

Convenient forgetting.

2012-01-13T08:18:00.004-07:00

This is a comfy scene... too comfortable in fact. I had a ridiculously low heating bill so I figured maybe a bit more comfort was warranted. What I conveniently forgot was that I was gone for almost the entire month of December. Hence no need to heat the house and no real gauge of heating costs with the new heater.

Doh!

I'm funny like that. To my friends who worry I don't heat my house... I do and more than before. Just so ya know. Not that the Dawn dish soap hasn't frozen here and there,but it's not as bad as the previous year. And today calls for some house comfort really. I am touching base with Miami to try to get this possible Deoro show together and need to track my pal Dave down for some info... and then I am diligently working on the Natalia Zukerman Garrison Starr show plastering Bisbee with posters. Tucson gets plastered next week. And I have had to embrace facebook as a means to promote the event as that's just how the kids are doing it these days. It's funny that as soon as I posted the event, a promoter from Columbus Ohio chimed in and mentioned I was forever expected for dinner at the Westin on High (my fave boutique hotel there.) I had to chuckle... then I wept a tear of sadness longing for my breakfasts there chatting with Chef Will and David my favorite server.

So at least I am somewhat focused and still have a nice warm fuzzy feeling from the impromptu dinner gathering I got to partake in with my pals Jen and Melissa at their pad. Farmers market marinara over quinoa pasta with gluten free bread toasted up and a nice olive oil with fresh garlic... and a salad of local organic arugula and carrots. YUM!

Ok... coffee is gone time to get crackin'!

Here is the show poster!

2012-01-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

My face has melted off!

2012-01-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

Face... melted off ... in the musical sense.

Holy crap Venus brought the hellfire and rock and roll last night! Truly a performer and a visionary in her field! The new material off of her new cd "10 Bones" was fantastic! It's funny how a trio can make music so good and loud that goes right to the heavy metal spot in yer goodness receptors in the brain! It was a helluva show.

I know Venus totally gets the vibe here in Bibsee and the town gets Venus too. This tiny little town is a gathering place for such amazing things and good joo joo for me... and appreciation of the arts and the creative beings that bring arts of all forms to life. There is inspired stuff happening here.

And the new theater hasn't even opened yet... once it does, I truly believe we will have many more talented people appreciating our tiny town. And this town will shower those people with appreciation in truckloads.

It's just what happens here.

Maybe catching a ride to the Sierra Vista Farmers Mkt today.. some fresh veggies would be really great. I need some apples for juicing...

I am pretty disgustingly predictable.

2012-01-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

Blah blah blah... coffee....
blah blah blah.... music....
blah blah blah.... kale....

It's just what I predictably do. I guess. And now freshly in from an uber relaxing time in Mexico, and the cold shock of my tiny house (32 degrees inside last night..) I am now enjoying the requisite stout cuppa jitter juice and pondering the day.

It's kind of a big day here for a bunch of reasons.
First, Venus De Mars is in town... and it's her birthday... HOLY SHIT! There is a big gig at Elmos to mark the occasion. And then there is Nowhere Man and Whiskey Girl's lovely songstress (and human jukebox) Amy playing at The Copper Queen Saloon just prior to the big Venus show. So let's see... that means bundle up... it's gonna be a late night and a frosty walk home. I can do that. I will haul my ass out for the good stuff.

Venus! In Bisbee! Her Annual Visit! And her birthday! Holy Shit!

2012-01-10T17:12:00.005-07:00

Me and Sally.

*apparently every beachy area I go to brings out the Oompa Loompa in me... and my friends.

2012-01-10T17:12:00.001-07:00

Scrimp boat...

The Birds!

2012-01-10T17:10:00.001-07:00

Oh Mexico.

Full moon hangover..

2012-01-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

And when I say full moon hangover it's the kind where you go to bed and the moon is incredible, then you wake up at ass crack:30 and it's lighting the morning sky before the sun is even thinking about coming up. It's lovely. And it is indeed nice and early and that first cup of coffee is so delish! I grabbed some Old Bisbee Roasters New Guinea Peaberry Kimel that I had been saving for a special occasion and this quick trip to Mexico proved the perfect time. This whole little jaunt has been quite sweet, and while Sally and I have different travel rhythms, we have jived rather nicely as travel buddies.

And now we travel back... To the land of tainted drinking water and slag heaps that we call home. Gotta address the fact that my car is not well, and gotta finish getting the stuff offa the porch. Got invited to a political fundraiser in Tucson on Jan 14th and would really like to go.. Not that I'm even remotely political... But I do think a bunch of my pals from Tucson will be at this thingy so I would like to try and go.

And now starts the major push to promote my pal Natalia's Zukerman's visit to Bisbee on Jan.27th with Garrison Starr for a show at Cafe Roka while the restaurant is closed for their winter vacation. It's gonna be one of the few shows that Bill Carter, Gretchen Baer or Shawnee Hicks haven't been the promoters of so I do want it to try to be a small success to make the musicians happy with what I hope will be a good turnout. A bunch of my friends will be gone on vacation from Bisbee then so it's time to get the word out!

Here is to rooms packed with people listening to sweet music..here.. there.. everywhere. And to seeing friends, connecting with all kinds of goodness and loving the opportunities that come forth.

Full moon tonite.

2012-01-09T08:26:00.001-07:00

I dunno what kind of craziness you get with a full moon when nobody is around. It will prolly go like this: me and Sally getting some chat time before and after a delicious dinner we cook, and me wondering if I got enough sun while I shiver a bit because I got a little sunburn, and then at about 9... it'll be time for me to think about turning in because being here is relaxing and laying around all day does nothing to stoke me up. It's kinda how it is when you are camping. You get up super early... cooking and cleaning up after said cooking takes up the majority of your time, and then the sun goes down, you pile more wood on the campfire and stare at the flames for about an hour and then figure you may as well go to sleep.
And then you realize (remember...this is the camping scenario) you realize it's only 7:04 pm..

I have been accused of going to bed really early. But seriously when you get up anywhere from 5:15 to 7:00 naturally you just go to bed when you go to bed. If something beckons me out I am all about it.

So, on this full moon night...where it's damn near just me and Sally here amongst giant empty buildings...the wild and crazy will have to fall to someone else. Because I do not see either of rising up to get the silly crazy stuff going on.

(Insert getting older comment here)

Our big night out.

2012-01-08T08:07:00.003-07:00

We went into town to do a sunset on the water. A small meal,a glass of pineapple juice,and a vast open Sea of Cortez in front of us. It was pretty delicious. Then we wandered thru the town plaza that had a few members of one of the local high school bands kicking out some fun music with a bass drum, snares, two trumpets.. and a trombone. Fun!

Sally has a deep connection and appreciation to this culture and she beamed with joy as we strolled thru this small town. A town pretty much decimated by the economy. I hadn't been here in years (15 yrs?) and the improvements on all fronts are mind blowing. Including the mega developments of beach condos like the one we are staying in. The grounds are quite nice, and the whole place is a resort...

Not the shitty smelly beach camping hovel type place Cathryn and I visited all those years ago where I had a really bad reaction to some scrimps and thought I was gonna die. And the town is a typical touristy place with bars catering to Americans, but there are not many gringos there. Regardless, the town plaza that was built is a wonderful gathering place for all the locals young and old. The sense of family abounding. And it does the heart good to see people having fun and being out together in spite of tough economic times.

We stumbled on a flat track/drag race track later and watched a few very beefy vehicles speed down a short to rack...that is until the lights stopped working.

Dangerous? Yes..

They got some lights further down the track going but I was pretty much done by then. But even though this town is emptied of the majority of tourists like us, that does afford the luxury of quiet without chaos. And that was most notable at the pool when it was pretty much just Sally and I then just me.

I like it.

Why do I hear James Taylor's song "Mexico" in my head?

2012-01-07T10:57:00.002-07:00

It is pretty damn nice. Brisk walk a bit down the beach for me and Sally went further. My leg can appreciate the sand, but it's a bit if a strain. Happy that it continues to get better and am glad the beach will add a bit of extra movement towards recovery. Remind me never to take a dumb tumble like that ever again...

So all is well and it's time for a bit of sun and quiet relaxing.

Ok.. I can roll with that.

2012-01-06T16:19:00.001-07:00

As we went thru South Tucson we saw this.

Discuss.

2012-01-06T13:16:00.001-07:00

And for the kale chipping.. See how nice the workspace is?

Yay!

2012-01-06T13:15:00.002-07:00

Kitchen 2.0

Adventures abound!

2012-01-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my...

I have accepted an invitation to go to Mexico for a couple days with my pal Sally. We have always talked about me accompanying her to her condo in Puerto Penasco. Now it's really happening. It'll be a bit before we actually get out of AZ as she has a spot of work, grocery shopping, oil change,gas up, and something about the DMV to do so my guess is we get on the road by 1pm. I am just along for the ride...

Kitchen 2.0 happened and it's pretty nice now that there is a rolling work bench in there instead of kitchen chaise, table, and a chair. I will bring down the groovy stools I used to have in my house in Tucson. They will be the perfect compliment to the crazy transformation I just put my kitchen through. A pic will follow eventually. I'm not 100% sure if I know where my phone is as I may have left it at home. But there are a couple snaps on that.

My pal KK exclaimed "whoa!" when she saw a pic.

Works for me!

2012-01-05T09:27:00.002-07:00

Six Feet Under. Season One, Episode One.

I am avoiding kitchen 2.0 perhaps. Then again, maybe I am sitting with the changes that I made yesterday? Maybe a little of both. Living room is now clogged with stuff from various parts of the house and I need to get the kitchen table outta here.

I do think it's gonna be good when it's done. But right now I just wanna veg out.

Is that bad?

It's a day to check things off the list.

2012-01-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

I made a list. Little dumb things to do. And it's gonna get obliterated. And it starts with that funny little thing called getting the mail. And that will be a nice morning walk that includes stopping off to see some pals at High Desert Market on the way down. I had my pals Carly and Damian over yesterday for espressos and nibbles.. They had their most adorable son Sage with them, and I must profess my gratitude for the wonderful openness and authentic friendship these folks have served up rather quickly. We were all meant to be pals. It is undeniable. New friends always brighten up the horizon.

Currently have my pal Ashen playing on a shuffle thru the ipod. I think her new release, as the band Scout is an ep and should be out. I gotta look into that. I just love everything she does. She has a great production sense and her voice is truly one of those you never forget.

Ok.. time to bundle up a bit for the 42 degree weather out there and head to High Desert!

2012-01-03T13:50:00.001-07:00

Here i sit. On my tiny porch. In the sun. Guests have departed. Pot of chili on the stove. Music flooding out of the house. Nothing really pressing.

Last night at Gretchen's art opening I got to see damn near all of my fave people in town. And we celebrated Paintress Gretchen in all of the best ways. She is a real treasure.

Kitchen 2.0 will begin thurs. I can't deal with that much discombobulation just yet. I'm basically at a level where I would love to play some ping pong and hang out.

2012-01-02T18:09:00.001-07:00

Fake Jan Be Damned!

We are NOT celebrating her but we are throwing an art opening and a killer partay!

2012-01-02T17:56:00.001-07:00

And here we go! Gretchen's Art Happening... If you are in Bisbee, get down here!

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2012-01-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

Who cooked for 7 people yesterday to start this year off right?

Yup.. Cookie McCookerson over here. A build your own taco/burrito bar over at the place where my pals Carly and Damien have rented for the week. Great digs for a party with a pool table to boot! Food was delish even if I do say so myself. And obviously I am doing just that.

Good stuuf.

And today is the art opening of Gretchen's new show! Beauty and creativity will be in great supply.

2012-01-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Toasting The Revolution just afer midnight.

With a shot of espresso from Seth from Old Bisbee Roasters. He was still setup in Peddlers Alley after the big loud ruckus of standing in a barn for the countdown. I toasted to one of the thngs I hold dear...Gretchen. Her new movement. Is The Revolution and aside from the accompanying art that is faboo (by Bisbee Pop Narcotic) the whole theme of it smacks of goodness and mpving forward .

Count me in on that shit for 2012!

2011-12-31T15:09:00.001-07:00

Last sunset of 2011.

May 2012 be full of wonder and challenges we rise to meet together!

Here's to it!

Happy as a little girl.

2011-12-31T06:51:00.002-07:00

THIS is sooooooooooo excellent!

And weird.

I LOVE IT!!!

If this can't make you smile, I dunno what can. On this Eve of the New Year, let's all try and laugh more and bring in this crazy new year with smiles and lighter hearts together!

that link..

2011-12-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was going to post the link to the list I mentioned about regrets people have.. but then I realized some folks might want to see it.. here it is: no clicking of links or copy and paste required.

Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

From Arise India Forum:

“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

2011-12-30T09:43:00.001-07:00

Nearly 60 degrees outside before 10 am so i am in shorts ready to schlep to Sierra Vista to have some glass replaced on El-Frida then pick up NYE goodies for Cafe Roka. Hopefully they are in supply somewhere in that strip-mall-laden town.

I feel reall fortunate this morning after reading a list of things people usually regret not doing before they die. I must be doing something right as this list basically tells my story of living an unconventional life, being true to myself and expressing m feelings. So it's not the norm, but for me it works. And according to this list, this path I'm on is the right one. It soothed me.

I cleaned out drawers in the kitchen, and have a plan. Kitchen 2.0 is going to happen.

2011-12-29T17:27:00.001-07:00

Not as bad as I thought! At 5:22 pm it's still over 50 degrees. Im going to tear my kitchen apart on Monday. I have a plan. (At least it seems like a good plan.)

2011-12-29T15:06:00.001-07:00

3:05 pm

2011-12-29T15:03:00.001-07:00

80 ish on the porch... Happy Day indeed.
Sun goes down behind the mtn at 3:00 so ot should be about 50 degrees in about an hour. Cools off waaaaay too fast!

thank yous..

2011-12-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks a bunch to those of you who chimed in via text and email to also wish The Mother Unit a happy birthday.. you have no idea how much it means to me to have energy directed fabulously at her! Seriously!

It's actually going to be a stunning day here so I am hoofing it back to Bisbee to take that all in. I want to sit on my porch and read Vanity Fair and get some pure vitamin D.

I have the house guesties coming Saturday so that gives me plenty of time to arrange/clean/hope for the best. It's time to hunker down and get this shit done already.

Mom is happily planted in her barcalounger watching tv with some tasty leftovers in the fridge and gearing up for not too much of anything but a couple of small errands and a lovely day. Not so bad for an old lady...

Off to Bisbee I go..

2011-12-28T08:14:00.001-07:00

And on this day I celebrate The Mother Unit on this day of her birth a long time ago. She's still not 80 so i figure she is still a young one.

Happy birthday to you dear mother-o-mine! I promise your dinner will be fantastic. And as we watch the season finale to American Horror Story we can have a snack of those delicious vegan shortbread cookies I am gonna make in about 10 minutes...

2011-12-27T15:57:00.001-07:00

Yes!

Fierce!

2011-12-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Back down! Lizzy has some fisties for ya!
Truth be told, it's just one of the funniest pics I have of her.. and today... is the day... of her birth.

I celebrate this brilliant, creative, hilarious,wacky woman today. She's been a tried and true friend for a lot of years. And one of my 3 asskickers who say it how it really is. We all need that. I seem to need it more than others, but she does not seem to judge. She one of my besties. One of the women I call truly confide in and someone who I appreciate knowing every damn day.

This woman has rainbows and unicorns flying offa her paddle 24/7!

Happy Birthday Lizzy!

Imma tellya sumpin...

2011-12-26T07:34:00.001-07:00

While I didn't leave the house yesterday, I cranked out some killer vegan deliciousness! Yes, off the road means eat right! And it means super thick and perfect cups of coffee (no holds barred on the stoutness) and damned if I didn't have the windows fogged up with all the cooking (heating the house while making food..) and the wacky temperatures inside and outside of the house. Right now I have temporarily stopped listening to Anais Mitchell's new cd "Young Man in America" to give a disco mix a spin..

you can try it out here too!
Cut Chemist -Disco is Dead (1973-1979) by Cut Chemist

It's most excellent! When he mixes into the Love Unltd. Orchestra I just loved it! My love of disco is deeply ingrained in my soul so hearing this Cut Chemist mixtape is like honey to a bee.
but try this... watch this video... start it about 1:30 in and turn up the music on the disco mix and turn off the sound to this video.

it's mesmerizing!

Looks to be a sunny crisp day here in tiny town. I have a dinner thingy later with a neighbor couple and I'm gonna give the old leg a small workout and walk to the post office. It's doing much better. And I'm glad I chose not to take steroids to aid in the healing. Taking it easy has been a slow process, but I didn't really want the drugs. I only take them when I am in dire straights. And waiting this out proved to be a good move.

2011-12-25T14:40:00.001-07:00

What is this?

2011-12-25T14:33:00.001-07:00

Porch is a balmy 50 degrees so I'm soaking up some sun in between making vegan shortbread, chili and coconut sesame bars. Busy day in the kitchen kept the house warmish and inviting with all the smells. It's been a good day so far.

While everyone waits anxiously to see what they got...

2011-12-25T08:10:00.002-07:00

The real gift is my Mother Unit. Her birthday is Dec. 28th so THAT is cause for celebration! Holiday stuff lost its appeal many years ago, and went from a bah humbug thing to just not wanting to buy into all the hysteria and hype. I don't have kids, or religion. So what I do have is a mother who probably got shortchanged all her life by having a birthday too close to Christmas. But I celebrate her today as my true gift and my family.

2011-12-24T14:59:00.001-07:00

Sunny spots.

watching the gratitude.

2011-12-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

So I have a bit of internet here this morning. Always a nice treat. Still cannot take that for granted. And as i surf through the nooks and cranny's of the interwebs, I am seeing nice things like pay it forward kind of stuff and people being grateful for the folks in their lives.

Why only now?

Why not year round?

I know that I on some level I really only have today. And I am pretty damn grateful for what I do have (which is more than enough to be honest..) and it's always interesting when others are vocal bout gratitude. My schooling in AA taught me to go to gratitude when things get shitty... and whenever I could muster up a gratitude list I did. And it became more of a constant. Though I am not grateful every minute of every day I do seem to strive for finding those grateful moments. And to see how many times I can use the word grateful or gratitude in this post is actually quite fun!

Truth is.. I love seeing the stuff roll by on twitter about all the goodness people are putting out and receiving this time of year. But my question is... why is it not year round goodness?

Really!

Standing in my 36 degree kitchen in my tiny house (make that 40 degrees) I just want to bask in the goodness that we all have in us. And let that goodness flow..

2011-12-23T12:48:00.001-07:00

You can't tell but it's starting to snow here in Bisbee right now.

You can't tell by this pic but this will be a sad post.

2011-12-23T07:06:00.003-07:00

Pictured with me are Jack the dog and Carlisle the cat... my expression is one of terror to be honest as Carlisle has razor sharp claws and an attitude.

Jack and I however, have been dear friends for a long time and he is one of the oldest bouviers on the planet. I have know him since his wee puppy days as the pampered pet of my pals in Laguna. I call him The Big Pooh. In his prime he was close to 130 lbs. Now at the age of 13 with his appetite gone and his quality of life suffering he is ending his days today.

It's never easy to put a pet down. I held my last 2 dogs as they went to the big fluffy bed in the sky. So not easy to do. But I didn't want them to be alone. I don't know if my friends will have the emotional whatever to be able to go in there with him as the sad deed gets done. In a lengthy conversation with my one pal last night he indicated they were both a wreck over this and felt like it was gonna take everything they had to even show up to the appointment. I know that stress and sadness. I have to admit that I have not fully recovered from my love for my crazy little farting boxer Agnes. And it's been like 8 years since she roamed this earth with me.

So here is a love note to Jack.

You are a good Big Pooh.

I love you dearly.

You are a wonderful friend.

You will be missed by us all.

I'm so glad I could give you all of those ice cube treats.

You can herd them all up there in the sky!

We had good times.

And now it's time to let go..

No... there is not a poetic bone in my body. And those words are my simple written thoughts to a dog I will miss getting to love on.

I'm gonna hurl.

2011-12-23T06:58:00.002-07:00

Just walk away... this vile and morning coffee destroying product was my attempt to get a non-sugar healthier bent to my morning lovefest with the jitter juice. Instead it turned what should be a deliciously dark and tasty cup of coffee into watery cardboard. My disappointment is tremendous. I wasted 15 bucks on this crap! I had high hopes..

how much?

2011-12-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

How much do you pay for comfort?

I wonder just how much it really will cost to heat the wee house to a decent temperature? Can I say that after all that 32 degree arrival shock, that I have the house around 60? It's super delish in here! I never do this!

And prolly never ever will again either.

Lots of heat is a luxury... a little heat is a given. It sure does make a comfy difference though. Who knew 60 felt just right?

2011-12-22T12:21:00.002-07:00

How well do I know my house? Well enough to predict the ambient temp when I returned would be between 28 and 32... So imagine my joy (and pain) that it was on the high end of the scale and still really effin cold!
Oh Bisbee.. So good to be home.

2011-12-21T12:22:00.002-07:00

Terreriagnome.

Sunny day and a sunny heart.

2011-12-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

Nice morning back here in AZ. A mini marathon of American Horror Story has now given way to getting ready to run errands and gather stuff up in preparation for heading back down to Bisbee. Hope to find some fast organics to haul home for roasting. A bit of soup making for The Mother Unit and a new door handle for the Acura round out the day. Nice easy and sunny inside and out.

Foggy mornings and freezing temps await me!

2011-12-20T07:26:00.001-07:00

With the plane doors ready to close I made it just in time ... Motherfucker!

2011-12-20T07:03:00.001-07:00

My flight from Laguardia is boarding..where am I?
In a security line.
Cricket...cricket...

Purring vs. Snoring.

2011-12-19T06:52:00.001-07:00

My cat Marvin (as you know.. not really my cat) is alternating between purring and snoring this morning as I get some serious quality time with him. I do tend to try to have a Marvin Love Fest every day... But when I know I'm gonna be leaving him it goes into overdrive.

Fortunately I haven't yet squeezed him till he popped (I know, that would be bad..) but I really do just love him enough to want to hug him all damn day long.

More snoring... Love it!

He's happy... I'm happy and this visit has been packed with music stuff and great opportunities to see friends and have quality time.

Back to the wee frozen beach house in a couple days... Gotta get a bit of time with my mom, no ping pong as I know that would tweak my leg in all the wrong ways. Bummer on that! Looking forward to seeing The Mother Unit and her trusty chihuahua, and getting the door handle fixed on my Acura so I can get in and outofthe car without having to roll the window down. That would be nice.

Small things to do... Lots of love and support to give. That's all I got!

2011-12-18T19:54:00.001-07:00

Really?

Trafficked in Hampton at nearly 10 pm on a Sunday?

Really?

Yes.. Really

Uh oh...

Benefits of community....

2011-12-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

The benefit this community has just thrown for their pal Mary is a true happening basking in grace and unconditional love and support.

This community is a gift to all who get a chance to sample it. Wow. The outpouring of love, generous donations for this woman to help cover medical expenses... Ugh... Cancer... Nasty fucking disease. I just can't even get into it.

But I have been sitting less than 10 feet from the woman who the benefit it for and she is beaming! she is loving every moment of this as are the rest of us!

2011-12-18T10:37:00.001-07:00

And then it was time to be last minute stage manager lady for a super neat community event. This bunch of people take care of their folks..

Jónsi in the morning.

2011-12-18T07:45:00.002-07:00

Get the iPod dialed into the incredible Jónsi this morning. Ambient and strikingly beautiful as I polish off the entire pot of coffee by myself, and wonder, "just how late did everyone stay up?" as it is 20 minutes from the time I thought we were supposed to be somewhere.
Hmmm...

I knocked once and said it was after 9:15 so I guess I have done my part. They need downtime.. I will say that is for sure! Good lord the holiday season around here is exhausting! Good for them getting extra rest.

It's the morning person as your houseguest blues...

So it will come as no surprise that I am just listening to sweet music as I make sure my caffeine level is up to snuff and get ready for another day with these wonderful people of Hampton.

2011-12-17T10:47:00.001-07:00

Setup for house concert in progress. Jim the sound guy will be here any minute. Let the party begin!

House concert day.

2011-12-17T06:18:00.000-07:00

I'm up with the birds having some dark French/espresso blend to kickstart my morning. The house here in Hampton is full up with musicians, bookers, brothers, and of course my cat... At about 12:45 this morning when the last person arrived it was a very unexpected turn when I heard some familiar 'language' come outta his mouth... And as I realized this man had done Landmark Education as he spoke, then another person in the room spoke up and all of the sudden there were 3 of us standing 2 feet away from each other who had done that work.

Add possibility to any conversation and you have some serious awesomeness!

I knew today would be great, but this ups the ante for me in all the right ways. So, tonight it's Eric Schwartz from L.A. And it's guaranteed to be naughty and fabulous. It had been raining quite a bit yesterday and now the clouds have fled and left us with a crisp sunny morning. to tear this house apart and turn it into a music venue.

The other good thing was I got to see my pal the E.R. doc over here for dinner.. She has assed my leg and will be aiding me in my recovery process with some Traumeel, and perhaps something to help aid the healing. She gave big long words for myo-facia that connects to something in there... All I heard was blah blah blah..."rip" blah blah bla "tear" and that she had some solutions.

Sign me up.

2011-12-16T10:45:00.001-07:00

When I saw Jane we saw Susan ...in a photo. And Antje too! And lots of them if you get what I mean.

2011-12-16T10:28:00.001-07:00

Cole slaw happy face! I just spent 2 hours chopping veggies for the feast tomorrow at the Eric Schwartz house concert here. I wanted a happy pic to slap up on the wee bloggy. Chopped veggies are not as cute (or weird) as a cole slaw happy face!

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The sweet smell of success!

2011-12-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

The drunken chili made the grade... WHEW!

It was a good night. The whole basis for it being that Kelly organizes caroling on her street. That is some serious Christmas cheer. She also has a remote for the lights on her tree.. Again, serious Christmas-ness! So while everyone was out singing I stayed behind and put the food line together and lita fire. Well, I lit a duraflame log and then after both sides were ablaze I struggled to get the effing damper open so the smoke went where it was supposed to..

Oops.

Now it's coffee:30 with a slightly stouter blend than they usuually have around here as I needed a dark roast to kick my ass a bit. Needless to say, my coffee snobbery has me by the tits. There is no escaping it. It's a curse and a blessing. Probably always will be just that.

The other day I thought briefly about what it might be like in my golden years... Living in Paia Town on Maui.. Not being able to afford coffee and giving it up in exchange for my island life.

Cricket... Cricket...

New music Thursday!

2011-12-15T13:41:00.000-07:00

There's Always Tomorrow by SCOUT

My pal Ashen has a new cd out wi her band Scout. Give it a shot!

I took a spin to procure some tart yogurt for us today.. It was crazy warm out there today.. Mid 60's ! Weird weather for sure! And now it's time to look over the doody offerings for tonight and hope the drunken chili did in fact turn out ok. All I can see left to do is make lime zest sour cream and my corn relish for a topper.... We made cashew cheese yesterday, so I do believe we are gonna have a decent spread.

It all gets rolling in about 20 minutes when people start showing up...

2011-12-14T16:15:00.001-07:00

Yup .. Me and my cat. And he is snoring . Hate to disturb hm but I am gonna have to get my kale chips outta the oven.

Big chill-eeeee

2011-12-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

I will be tackling the biggest pot of drunken chili ever today. With a party for 20 tomorrow, I am just hoping it turns out ok. It'll be the main dish, so no pressure or anything. My brain is a little mushy with nothing major really in focus.. Kinda feel like I need to get cranking on something. I will do some more reaching out for some possible stuff for Dave in Miami. I do have some house concert stuff to confirm for Natalia too.. So in this next 24 hours I bet I can send up a couple of flares.

I finished reading a very detailed book on the history of Led Zeppelin... Totally reignited my love for them and now I can't get enough. I have been strangely interested in books.. I can only say it must be directly related to the amount of time I have on my hands. Next up is Jane Lynch's autobiography "Happy Accidents" but I'm saving that for the flight home next week.

Time to motivate my brain.. More coffee and some forward motion.

Ain't no big thing.

2011-12-13T10:24:00.001-07:00

Today is cold, sunny and I have a snoring toothless cat on my lap...

I dunno what could be better!

It's a day of nothing exciting. Snoring cats? Really?

Yes, Marvin snores.

2011-12-12T16:30:00.001-07:00

A shrine.
Made out of kitchen ingredients.
A shrine... To drunken chili.

My kind of shrine.

It's 1pm... Do you know where my toothless cat is?

2011-12-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

I have seen that cat for all of 2 minutes today. Damn him! He's probably curled up on Kelly and Steve's bed all warm and snuggly. How dare he deny me!

After a nice batch of huevos rancheros (Wendy style) and some coffee we are all doing our own thing which means I am reading my book on Led Zeppelin Kelly is working , Marvin is sleeping and I'm not exactly sure what Steve is doing but there is always plenty on his list.

I'll be cooking tonite and looks like it's kapama.

Drunken chili is for Thursday... Kale chips somewhere in between and solely for me and Kelly's consumption as we have made a pact to hoard them.

Super freaking chilly here but I think Bisbee may be overall colder.. Guess it's a good precursor to going home.

2011-12-11T09:20:00.002-07:00

Brekkie in VA.

Cole slaw and scrambled eggs... Yes. It's true.

A recipe from and 88 year old woman.. Who had it handed down from her mother... Yielded some of the best slaw I have ever had. And since farm fresh eggs were in abundance, it was a must.

My cat Marvin is hiding.. There is a visiting dog that is not so cat friendly, so my time with him has been way to little.. But the dog leaves tomorrow. I'm ditching the cane today till my leg gets tired. Hopefully all day and a continued path to recovering.

Over the next week, I should lay eyes on all of the fab folks I dig here in VA. That'll be a great thing for the heart and mind as I then head back to AZ to edit video, try to stay warm and get ready for a Cilch Sister onslaught for New Years Eve. I sure hope I can get my house warm enough ..

And now, with Marvin on my lap I must focus on him...

2011-12-10T11:39:00.001-07:00

Hello ocean part deux!

Big coffee =big fun.

2011-12-10T06:48:00.001-07:00

These ladies have the biggest coffee mugs of anyone I know.This makes me very happy! It's a rainy morning and the coffee is thick and delish and the inhabitants of this here house are bustling with talk of going to the gym and then some. It's a full day of nothing for me... Till we head to Logan Aeropuerto at around 6 pm. Its been a sweet time of reconnect up here. Nice to see these gals and get this quick time for sure. Thoughts of my cat Marvin swirling in my head as I look to my time in VA. It will be a good visit... Seeing these people I love so much. I will be having a bunch of love and feelings as I am re-entering the world of Kelly and Steve and of my passed away friend Babs. Be good to be in that physical space and just love the hell out of my friends.love is all I've got...

2011-12-09T11:37:00.001-07:00

Hello ocean!

Mother f%#+€r!

2011-12-09T08:04:00.001-07:00

Blog post I had started totally disappeared into thin air.. Oh well. The good news is that the coffee is stout up here in Plymouth MA. My hosts know I love a good cuppa Jolene.It's a slow but caffeinated start to a good looking day. Nothing on my calendar but quality time with my pals. Fine by me. It'll be a quick visit as I am off tomorrow towards VA and my cat Marvin for the remainder of my time away. I'll be partaking in my first Hood Christmas party in Hampton, and that will bring all of the usual suspects together for a blowout bash that is legendary in those parts. But for now, it's me, my friends and some kickass coffee and the promise of a sweet day on Cape Cod.

2011-12-08T15:11:00.001-07:00

And then... I was in Boston!

2011-12-08T09:27:00.002-07:00

Boston... Here I come.

www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

2011-12-08T06:04:00.001-07:00

And after the hellish night driving conditions... I am happy to report my departure from Brooklyn was a lovely start.

All swirly whirly in the brain.

2011-12-08T05:29:00.001-07:00

The show at The Burlap and Bean went so good! The mix of Dave and Chuck (the heartbeat of Deoro) fused with the uber talented songwriting and delivery of Amber Rubarth and heap in a violin player named Tim Snyder for extra awesomeness made for a well rounded night of musical adventure. Getting there was another story..The rain was beyond shitty and we were in the heart of Times Square at 4pm. On one level the travel gods did smile upon us as we got thru the Lincoln Tunnel with virtually no waiting. Once on the other side into Jersey it was next to no visibility from all the rain and semis splashing up water. It was a toughie. But we got there before official start of the show time and while everyone was rushed, it came out more than ok.I was rewarded still..Still never enough time with her... But got to see Jane. Hell, maybe she doesn't want to spend lots of time with me! Maybe that's why it never happens... But I got to connect and that was what mattered. And then to cap it off just like every other time in the Philly area, a stop at WaWa for some grub and road coffee made us all quite happy. The drive home was stupid rainy but less traffic made for slightly better visibility. It was just a matter of staying awake. Which I'm happy I only got a little woozy for a couple minutes just as we were exiting the Jersey Turnpike headed towards the Holland Tunnel.When all was said and done with the gear and personnel dropped off, Dave and I rolled into his crib at about 3 am and I felt satisfied. My time here for this trip co,ing to a close in a few short hours, I know I served some folks well,and got to do the job I set out to do. With my gimpy leg and all, I still got in there and hauled some gear (slowly) and helped set up and break down.Memories swirling in my heed. Past and present. Just so damn glad to get to do this.

Weather indeed.

2011-12-07T08:11:00.001-07:00

It's Portlandy out there...Glum... Drizzly.. And cold.I have a couple hours till I mobilize to get this last day with Dave into high gear. He is off rehearsing then he heads to XM Radio to record with that really nice lady he is going to be touring with. I think the web is uber monitored by her people and her fans.. So I'm not even gonna type her name. I will say this... Dave loves working with her and says she is incredibly genuine and talented. I hold true to my mantra that Dave really does surround himself with seriously decent down to earth folks. I feel pretty grateful to be included in that circle. The weather really is a downer... Glad I never moved up to the Pacific Northwest. It woulda killed me. I'm planning on late night driving with deer-filled highways. It's just a fact. Should be a good night though.. My treat will hopefully be to lay eyes on my pal Jane for a few as she said she would try and make it out. It would be great to really get to catch up with her... It's impossible to do that at a Susan Werner show anymore. Her brow is usually furrowed and she's rushing around and no time for any hang. I know how that is... It's always great to see her and I love getting to see Susan shows whenever I can.I just get so disconnected by not randomly texting or calling. People are busy.. This ain't about me. And Facebook is not a real way to stay connected. Face to face or actual conversation is what fuels my connectedness. I'm gonna go get connected to some breakfast now..

2011-12-06T14:12:00.001-07:00

Genius at work.

Weather...incoming!

2011-12-06T08:04:00.001-07:00

Hmmm...Been really lucky so far. The weather has been pretty stellar here in NYC. In Jamaica we had 1 day of rain. And now looks like we are getting some rain and cold temps finally moving this way. I looks like it'll be downright freakin' cold when I get to Boston/Cape Cod. Well.. At least I packed for all of this. Hate schlepping it all around, but I have it. Jackets...beanies, glovies, scarves. All in the bag. One more day in Brooklyn, then tomorrow is the show Dave is doing with Amber Rubarth at The Burlap and Bean and the next day it's off to the Bolt Bus to go north.Wish I coulda seen Dave play with Bocelli on tv... That would been pretty cool. That 3:15 wakeup was brutal, but morning telly waits for nothing. I went back to sleep till 8. A bagel and another cup is on deck. Maybe some Tylenol. I keep getting better with my leg injury and it's still going to be an issue for a while. That's just how it is. Dave is back in a hour to do a bunch of rehearsing for his Evanescence gigs that are upon him.. That will sound pretty amazing I'm sure! Off to grab the bagel.

2011-12-06T01:50:00.001-07:00

And then Dave rode off into the early morning hours to go do Good Morning America ... With Andrea Boccelli. No lie! Go get 'em Dave! 3:45 is damn early, but America needs it's morning tv.